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About Varied / Hobbyist *STAR*32/Female/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 8 Years
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Statistics 606 Deviations 16,097 Comments 53,480 Pageviews

Commissions

Sketch
Nurse Star by sailorsilverstar
Silver Star and Etsuo Sketch by sailorsilverstar
Sketch by sailorsilverstar
Just a basic sketch with rough lines and done in a single color. (No more then 2 characters)


(Price subject to change based on picture requested)
Line Art
Line Art by sailorsilverstar
Mystery Love by sailorsilverstar
So You Wanna Play With Magic... LineArt by sailorsilverstar
A black "coloringbook" picture for you to color as you wish


(Price subject to change based on picture requested)
Flat Color
Big Head Superman by sailorsilverstar
THANK YOU GAME!!!!! by sailorsilverstar
Happy 11 Months Charming by sailorsilverstar
A unshaded colored picture with none or basic backround


(Price subject to change based on picture requested)
Shaded Color
Blaze by sailorsilverstar
WAKE UP ETSUO by sailorsilverstar
Pieces by sailorsilverstar
A shaded picture with depth and lighting with non or simple background (contact if non-basic background is wanted)


(Price subject to change based on picture requested)
Backgrounds
Creation by sailorsilverstar
Dark Lotus by sailorsilverstar
Untitled Background by sailorsilverstar
A background to be used by you however you wish


(Price subject to change based on picture requested)
Mini Animations
Dark Rising? by sailorsilverstar
Silver Star Power... by sailorsilverstar
You WILL Be Mine... by sailorsilverstar
A very basic animation with no more then 20 frames


(Price subject to change based on picture requested)

Newest Deviations



My artwork... I like to think im getting better over time ^_~ Enjoy

Favourites



Artwork I love and that friends and fans have made for/ with me in them ^_^ Thank you all for your amazing artwork!!!

Watchers

Groups

Coping

Journal Entry: Sun Jun 21, 2015, 8:51 PM
So its not even a week and I think I'm doing OK. I think Dan is doing ok too.

I feel bad though. I feel I'm getting over this faster then I feel like I should be.......makes me feel like a horrible person. The whole thing is a tragity but I'm thankful in a small way because I know this could've been much worse.

I know I, what Id like to view as playfully, complained about being pregnant but I'm actually missing it. I feel empty and even eating food feels weird. There is no way to have that make sense. But its like I was aware of every bit of food and drink i had to make sure it was good for the baby. Now its just....food. Yes of course I missed having like my Barqs root beer (couldnt have it because of the caffeine) but thats all i really gave up for the most part, caffeine and it wasnt that big a loss to me really.

I was scared when Id see women coming to the doctors office anywhere between probably 7-9 months and their bellys were waaaaaaaaaay out in front of them, now I'm just sad I wont get to have that in a few months like I was suppose to.

I just feel like I dont know what to do. That i should still be beat up about this. I remember it hurting as bad as mom but the length of that pain doesnt seem to be nearly as long. The bitch is a pinch is felt anytime you see ANYTHING baby related.

I also feel bad about how quickly i seem to be coping whereas i think my beloved husband is hurting more then me and I feel bad about that too.

I cant tell whats a cramp or whats my stomach when I'm having some discomfort. The bleeding has stopped for the most part which I'm happy about. I just cant help but find it a bit funny considering they told me the bleeding could last a few weeks.

I just feel half the time like I dont know what to do.

I'm fighting thru so much anger, fear and bitterness so it doesnt ruin me to keep on going and look forward to getting pregnant again and hopefully as soon as possible.

People keep saying how strong I am, especially thru this moment in my life. I dont see it. I see a empty woman who keeps trying to use humor to keep the hurt at bay. I guess a part of me is just trying to act like this never happened but at the same time I cant. I didnt want the babys remains with us because I didnt want a constant reminder of this pain and hurt but anytime I see Dan I am reminded.

I know better. I know its not my fault. I know I havent let my husband down. But I cant help but feel like it is my fault we lost the baby. I cant help but feel I have let my amazing, loving husband down because he was gonna have his dream of having a daughter and now its gone until we try again. Which we have to fight thru so much fear to even attempt!!!

I dont know anymore...

I get mad because it feels like I can never have ANYTHING in my life go smooth. It feels like i had to sacrifice my mother to have Dan in my life. We had to sacrifice 2 years being apart to get married, what has this baby been sacrificed for?

It was such a faint feeling but we were JUST starting to feel the baby kick, ever, ever so faint! But i miss it....

I really just constantly feel like the ideal candidate to be a Red Lantern. I constantly have so much rage inside me for all the heartache I've had through out my life. But I'm getting off topic, this is suppose to be how I'm feeling about this whole event...

I'm not even sure what to write now....I just want to heal up and get the green light for us to try again.

A game friend had mentioned that, i think he said he heard it, that the next pregnancy will be a stronger one because all of the weakness has been flushed out of my system. If that makes sense. I just hope hes right.

I really want the son and daughter Dan and I have dreamed about ever since we talked about having kids. He deserves a family and as much as I beat myself up a small part of me knows I deserve one too.

........ I wish I had my mom......

deviantID

sailorsilverstar's Profile Picture
sailorsilverstar
*STAR*
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States



Current Residence: FL
Favorite genre of music: I like just about everything
Favorite style of art: Anime/ Manga and others
Operating System: Windows 7 Ultimate
Favorite cartoon character: Sailor Moon
Personal Quote: The Star in my heart please continue to shine strong and bring me power to protect those I love
Tools: Digital: Wacom Bamboo Create, Photoshop Elements 5 MS Paint XP, Paint Tool SAI
Traditional: Pencil, Paper, Pen, Colored Pencils, Acrylic Paint, Watercolor
Interests

Activity


Coping

Journal Entry: Sun Jun 21, 2015, 8:51 PM
So its not even a week and I think I'm doing OK. I think Dan is doing ok too.

I feel bad though. I feel I'm getting over this faster then I feel like I should be.......makes me feel like a horrible person. The whole thing is a tragity but I'm thankful in a small way because I know this could've been much worse.

I know I, what Id like to view as playfully, complained about being pregnant but I'm actually missing it. I feel empty and even eating food feels weird. There is no way to have that make sense. But its like I was aware of every bit of food and drink i had to make sure it was good for the baby. Now its just....food. Yes of course I missed having like my Barqs root beer (couldnt have it because of the caffeine) but thats all i really gave up for the most part, caffeine and it wasnt that big a loss to me really.

I was scared when Id see women coming to the doctors office anywhere between probably 7-9 months and their bellys were waaaaaaaaaay out in front of them, now I'm just sad I wont get to have that in a few months like I was suppose to.

I just feel like I dont know what to do. That i should still be beat up about this. I remember it hurting as bad as mom but the length of that pain doesnt seem to be nearly as long. The bitch is a pinch is felt anytime you see ANYTHING baby related.

I also feel bad about how quickly i seem to be coping whereas i think my beloved husband is hurting more then me and I feel bad about that too.

I cant tell whats a cramp or whats my stomach when I'm having some discomfort. The bleeding has stopped for the most part which I'm happy about. I just cant help but find it a bit funny considering they told me the bleeding could last a few weeks.

I just feel half the time like I dont know what to do.

I'm fighting thru so much anger, fear and bitterness so it doesnt ruin me to keep on going and look forward to getting pregnant again and hopefully as soon as possible.

People keep saying how strong I am, especially thru this moment in my life. I dont see it. I see a empty woman who keeps trying to use humor to keep the hurt at bay. I guess a part of me is just trying to act like this never happened but at the same time I cant. I didnt want the babys remains with us because I didnt want a constant reminder of this pain and hurt but anytime I see Dan I am reminded.

I know better. I know its not my fault. I know I havent let my husband down. But I cant help but feel like it is my fault we lost the baby. I cant help but feel I have let my amazing, loving husband down because he was gonna have his dream of having a daughter and now its gone until we try again. Which we have to fight thru so much fear to even attempt!!!

I dont know anymore...

I get mad because it feels like I can never have ANYTHING in my life go smooth. It feels like i had to sacrifice my mother to have Dan in my life. We had to sacrifice 2 years being apart to get married, what has this baby been sacrificed for?

It was such a faint feeling but we were JUST starting to feel the baby kick, ever, ever so faint! But i miss it....

I really just constantly feel like the ideal candidate to be a Red Lantern. I constantly have so much rage inside me for all the heartache I've had through out my life. But I'm getting off topic, this is suppose to be how I'm feeling about this whole event...

I'm not even sure what to write now....I just want to heal up and get the green light for us to try again.

A game friend had mentioned that, i think he said he heard it, that the next pregnancy will be a stronger one because all of the weakness has been flushed out of my system. If that makes sense. I just hope hes right.

I really want the son and daughter Dan and I have dreamed about ever since we talked about having kids. He deserves a family and as much as I beat myself up a small part of me knows I deserve one too.

........ I wish I had my mom......

Faded Star Seed by sailorsilverstar
Faded Star Seed
Most of you may remember the playful pregnancy announcement picture i did:

A New Star Seed by sailorsilverstar

Well here it is in follow up with the lost of that pregnancy....the flower has wilted and the petals are being carried across the wind...
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Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconjupiternephritelover:
jupiternephritelover Featured By Owner 3 days ago  New Deviant
thank you so much for joining. i really appreciate it a lot =) (Smile) Hug =D (Big Grin)
Reply
:iconsailorsilverstar:
sailorsilverstar Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
youre welcome ^_^
Reply
:iconlaurennightshade:
LaurenNightshade Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you very much for the llama! ^_^
Reply
:iconsailorsilverstar:
sailorsilverstar Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
You are welcome ^_^ Thank YOU for the fav and llama ^_^
Reply
:iconlaurennightshade:
LaurenNightshade Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're very welcome! ^_^
Reply
:iconsenshiofmyth:
SenshiOfMyth Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2015  Hobbyist
Here, have some fanart <3 :) Sailor Silver Star by SenshiOfMyth
Reply
:iconsailorsilverstar:
sailorsilverstar Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
:squee:
Reply
:iconjholleworth:
JHolleworth Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the Llama! ;) (Wink) 
Reply
:iconsailorsilverstar:
sailorsilverstar Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
youre welcome ^_^ thank you for the fav!
Reply
:iconkillboring:
killboring Featured By Owner May 30, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Thank you for the Llama!
Reply
:iconsailorsilverstar:
sailorsilverstar Featured By Owner May 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you for the favs ^_^
Reply
:iconpinocchiofan:
pinocchiofan Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2015   Artist
Thank you for the Llama!
Reply
:iconsailorsilverstar:
sailorsilverstar Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you for the fav! ^_^
Reply
:iconpinocchiofan:
pinocchiofan Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2015   Artist
You're welcome! That logo was awesome! I'd love to see Mat use it in the future!
Reply
:iconsailorsilverstar:
sailorsilverstar Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah me too!!! lol that was one of the big reasons I "updated" his logo. Feel free to go encourage him to do that! lol
Reply
Hidden by Commenter
:iconsailorsilverstar:
sailorsilverstar Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
:party: Happy to of given it! ^_^ Thank YOU for the llama too!! ^_^
Reply
:iconburningrage8-13:
burningrage8-13 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the llama!
Reply
:iconsailorsilverstar:
sailorsilverstar Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you for the fav!
Reply
:iconburningrage8-13:
burningrage8-13 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome
Reply
:iconclassiccartoonlover:
ClassicCartoonLover Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank You For The Llama
Reply
:iconsailorsilverstar:
sailorsilverstar Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
youre welcomed ^_^ thank you for the fav!
Reply
:iconclassiccartoonlover:
ClassicCartoonLover Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Sorry Im A Little Late On This... And No Problem Tilts Head ^^
Reply
:iconleafsoto:
LeafSoto Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the llama
Reply
:iconsailorsilverstar:
sailorsilverstar Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
you are most welcomed ^_^ thank you for the fav!
Reply
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